My 5 to thrive Method
The 5 to thrive are some practical positive steps I take to help my mindset both personally and within my business. I follow these steps when I feel a bit lost, unmotivated or unsure of what to do. They help remind me of “my why” and bring me back down to earth. I hope they help you in any small way and if not I won’t take offence it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
The five steps are:
1. Be Open To Learning Always
2. Stop Comparing yourself to others
3. Consistency is key
4. Use your full potential
5. Self Care
1. Be open to learning always.
A few years ago I was busily working away, I hadn't attended much training in a while and I was feeling a bit stuck in a rut. I was pretty unmotivated, had lost some confidence.
But for whatever reason, maybe just luck, I enrolled to do some training online and it was a game changer. (Luckily for me you have already bought this course or you would think this is me giving a sales pitch!)
But honestly the difference in giving myself the gift of more knowledge was unbelievable, it gave me a new lease of life. I had felt a massive resistance to do something new and I suppose I was afraid of failure, I've never looked back. Learning new techniques is now one of my favorite things to do, I am constantly on the look out for inspiration. I have also tried to do this in my personal life and trained to teach kids and young adults meditation and mindfulness, trained in crystal healing, jewelry making and lots of other random things like that i'm interested in. But every time I do I get such a boost out of it and of course I want to get everyone in the house on board…. my husband draws the line at jewelry making!
Anyways my point is, if you are open to learning new things, you just never know where it will lead you and its a great positive cycle to get into.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Words of advice I once heard: You only have to be ONE step ahead of somebody else to teach them something new. JUST ONE STEP.
There are people that are lots of steps ahead of me right now and if I was always comparing myself to those that are ahead of me in a negative way (and there will always be those you feel are "ahead of you") I will start to feel bit left behind. Instead I try to focus on my own step and how far I have come to get here.
We are programmed to think the grass is always greener. That if I could just be like (insert name)......... my life would be complete. But in reality getting to that point would only give you a feeling of joy for a fleeting moment and soon start comparing yourself to someone else more "successful or happy". We are constantly chasing, instead of living.
Practical ways I try to combat this:
I remind myself whenever i’m feeling insecure, how far I have come. I remind myself of my family and the things that really matter to me and that nobody has it all, no-matter what it looks like online. As I get older and continue to focus on my own growth I don’t really ever think that way anymore but it’s definitely something I had to work on.
...and if all else fails delete anyone on social media that makes you feel anything but good and inspired. Reminders of all the good people and things in life is sometimes all you need for a little boost.
3. Consistency- This is probably one of the most ironic things i'm going to ever say because i'm the least consistent person EVER. (If you are into Ayruveda, I'm a Vata Dosha, if you know you know)
I'm creative, flighty, I have 15 tabs open on my phone at all times and I love starting new things every 6 months to a year. When I do I am ALL IN for that time but just as quickly move on to the next thing. It's both a blessing because I create some beautiful things along the way and a curse because I get bored easily.
BUT one thing I have learned over the past few years is, if you want to grow your business, if you want to grow as a stylist, if you want to grow your social media, improve your mindset, your physical strength.. really anything. Consistency is KEY. There is just no way around it and believe me I have tried.
What does this mean in practice for my business? Below is a list of practical ways I implement "consistency" into my life. When I start to feel like i'm not getting results quick enough. I remind myself small changes make big impacts.
-Learning at least one thing new every week (1-2 hours out a week)
-Forward planning my social media on Preview App to post consistently everyday without needing to actually take time out of everyday to think of what to post
(side note I have a love hate relationship with social media, it does my mental health no favors if I take it too seriously and focus on “likes” but lately and if you follow me you’ll know this to be true, i’ve started to just do whatever is fun and take the seriousness out of it so although it’s a fantastic way to grow your business, I do not think of it in a negative way like i used to and freak out if a post flops, if I enjoyed doing it then its a win)
-Keeping up to date with all emails by the end of each day bar days off. I don’t know about you but when things start to build up I avoid them like the plague and make going back to it ten times harder. For this reason I try to clear my inbox when the kids go to bed each evening. (prob not a great habit but it works for me!)
-Booking my trials 4-6 months in advance for obvious reasons if you leave it too late to book them in they will all want the same times and you’ll be stressing!
-Keeping my products well stocked so I never run out
-Keeping check of all deposits paid and have a backup of accounts on excel.. I used only have a record on my salon soft wear but if anyone paid elsewhere I would have to go back through my statements (hell no)
-Never squeezing in clients to suit other people, I used to always put other peoples needs before my own. I’d be nearly fainting in front of them before I would say no. Not anymore, maybe its my age but you learn the hard way.
In my personal life there are things I do almost always when i'm in a good positive cycle, like:
Going to bed before 10pm
Rising before 7am
Meditate every day
Drink warm water
Low sugar, no processed food, no meat (as she types with a cup of sugary coffee in her hand)
Giving thanks at the end of the day
Move everyday (walk, jog, jump, dance)
Driving in the car alone, music blaring
Taking a salt bath instead of a shower
Lighting candles
Making a list of the things that I KNOW will make me feel good is a great thing to return to if I’m having an off day. Sometimes I actually need to remember what I love to do.. Does that sound mad? I just pick one thing on the list to do that day and then again the next, and it gets me back into a positive cycle. I loose trust in myself if I keep putting myself last so by gradually adding things from the list to my life each day I start to build trust again. (I obviously start with the easy ones!)
BTW I am by no ways perfect and I am going through a pretty unhealthy cycle at the moment due to being so busy at work but I have to accept that this is only for a short time give myself a break and get back to a more positive routine as soon as I can.
4. Use your full potential
I was hesitant to put this in because it sounds very airy fairy..(as if the rest of this hasn't!) BUT if there's one lesson I've learned in my 35 years.. well especially since having my kids it’s this:
We have unlimited potential within us. There is probably next to nothing we couldn't do with enough time and hard work. But what stops us from fulfilling this potential? (I know because it stops me in my tracks every time) Those voices in my head saying.. you are not good enough...
Have you ever wanted to join a new exercise class but you don't because you think.. I'm not fit enough to join everyone else will be way fitter than me.
Have you wanted to post a reel on Instagram but you don't because you think... Everyone will think I'm a tool if I post that or that I think I'm great.
Have you want to do something nice for someone that was kind to you but you think... They will think I'm weird if I do that, I don't know them well enough.
So you don't send the flowers or join the class or build a larger online presence and you miss the opportunity to grow into the person you really want to be..
What I have realised and maybe it's my age or now that I have kids you start to reflect on things. But what I do know is this, honestly,
No-body really cares! (harsh but true)
Everyone is far too worried about what the outside world thinks of them to care too much about what you are doing. Those thoughts in your head are trying to protect you from the unknown they will tell you to avoid anything that's new, risky or out of your comfort zone but that’s all it is thoughts not reality.
So you can listen to those voices and never take a risk for fear of failing or you can say... Screw it, life is for living and I am damned if i'm going to look back and regret not doing something that's going to make me happy. Those people you worry are going to judge you... maybe they will but let them they are not your people, you stay on your step and be so thankful for how far you have come.
Have some fun making a reel if that’s your thing and post it… Trust me, people don’t care that you look silly, only you do!
5. Self Care
So how do I really look after myself when things are going way too fast, there's not enough hours in the day, I'm overwhelmed, I'm thinking of that difficult client that made me feel like crap, that i'm a bad mom, a bad wife etc etc..
Well I have two ways:
First is STILLNESS
..Go sit in your wardrobe.
Only Joking.. Kind of...
I'm far from an expert so I am just speaking from experience but the answer to pretty much every problem I have ever had can be found by
Sitting. Alone. Breathing.
That's it.
The only way I've found to calm and quieten my mind is to calm and quieten the world around me. Even if it's just for a couple of minutes, even 1 minute. Set a timer and do nothing but listen to your breath, feel your tummy rise and fall with each breath and that's it. Simple eh? Yep except for its not, until you consistently do it for a couple of days then a week then you might make it to 4-8-10 minutes every day for a year.
If you do this every day your life will change for the better that I have absolutely no doubt. Don't be afraid to fail everyone has to start somewhere. Insight Timer is a great app if you don't like silence and would prefer to listen to something.
2-AFFIRMATIONS
Have you ever heard that your thoughts are your reality?
If you believe you can do something, your thoughts create your intentions and your intentions create your reality.
Thinking positive thoughts about yourself, your business, your life/family etc. will only do good things to your life.
So how do I put this into practice?
I usually say affirmations at the beginning and end of my day. It's a great way to start the day and a positive way to go to sleep.
You could literally say anything you like but mine go something like this.
"My family and I are happy, healthy, calm and content" (I include my family but you don't have to, I say calm because my kids are loonatics)
I take a deep breath each time I say it and repeat it to myself like a mantra.
For your business you could say something like:
I am confidence
I am successful
I am talented
Try it out it can only do you good!
I had a period in my life after having Poppy, where I asked myself all the, what is all of this about what is my "purpose" what is my "why". The simple answer is, I don't know for sure. But my understanding is this. If you can chose a path in life or job that truly makes you feel alive and excited about doing it and if it can offer some kind of help or serve someone else for the better in any way, then... that is what you are supposed to be doing. I really hope this little insight have served you gorgeous people in any small way.
ps. Just so everyone is aware I'm finding it really hard to “balance” (if there is such a thing) work, housework, self care, kids etc. at the moment so please don't think I'm trying to preach or make out i'm perfect. I loose my temper all the time and as i've said i'm VERY inconsistent! But I promise you when I am on a good role and I practice what I preach, I am on bloody cloud 9. And if ye don’t
I love you all,
We got this!
Niamh x